it seems that, like clockwork, once a month... (get your mind out of the gutter)
i get this terrible "oh my S***, what am i doing with me life" anxiety.
For those of you who don't know, i work as a freelance video editor / production assistant. and for those of you who don't freelance, you should know that it's really not all its cracked up to be.
i love production, don't get me wrong. it's fed my appetite for "doing what i love" for years now, and has the potential to keep doing that. but at the same time, it leaves me longing to move faster and harder than is possible in this business. I don't have a degree to fall back on, and quite frankly if i were to get a production degree, it would only hurt me in the long run. People in the production world tend to look down upon someone who has gone to school for it because 9 times out of 10, those kids have some skewed sense of entitlement. everyone bases your worth off of experience in the field. end of story.
unfortunately, being degree-less also means that you are automatically perceived as uneducated. i find this incredibly offensive. I am an educated person, always have been and always will be. BUT, you know deep down in that festering and protective brain of yours that when you hear, "yeah i left college to work in television," the elf inside your brain that is taking notes on said person, automatically looks on the "perception" list and checks off "not that smart/uneducated." with a big fat, and probably red sharpie. But, due to the fact that our society respects people who are educated by some university, instead of educated as an apprentice or in a "family business" setting, one cant really blame you. (Side note, as soon as you hear "family business" you're probably thinking of the mafia. however, my education did come from my parents, who were respected in the business they were in, my mother being a writer/producer and my father being a gaffer/videographer throughout my childhood. I learned more growing up on set than any classroom can teach. However, until my parents fabricate a college, no one will respect that.)
so lets face it, i am an antsy person. I dont like waiting around and i dont like not knowing where ill be in 5 years, or even 20 due to this deformed view on education. for all i know i could still be in the same place i am now, and im not okay with that. Currently, my daily routine consists of, well... nothing, really. Besides being a bad influence on my friends, trying to convince them to come hang with me instead of studying for tests. Watching bullshit TV, painting my trashcan and writing blogs no one will read while waiting for a phone call for the next one day gig.
so im considering going back to school.
(at this point, you should be hearing tire screeches, records being stopped, crashing bottles, and maybe a baby crying.)
School and i have a bitter sweet relationship. I always did well in school, even the two years i attended college. but because the career i currently have made school null and void, i really havent ever longed to go back. not to mention i hate testing, reading, and the most dreaded subject of math. (jimmy buffet sure had it right, if necessity is the mother of invention, then id like to kill the guy who invented math)
but if education is based on a thick piece of paper with your name written in script, signed by the head of BS University that you've never met and who couldn't pick you out in a line up, sealed with a printer ready golden foil someone purchased at the dollar store, signifying (traditionally) four years, 12 semesters, and 120 hours of torture, then i guess life will just have to put some baby oil on its hand and slap me silly.
I already have the pre-reqs for art history, which i love. but i would love to study anthropology with a minor is psychology. it is something im incredibly enthusiastic about, but kids, lets face it, WTF do you do with an anthropology degree besides keep studying for the rest of your life?
meh, well.... uh, yeah, about that.
ill get back to you on that.
and that, is my mid-month crisis.
